Ignoring the FOMO

So I have mentioned before, I am a modern-day gypsy, I love change - actually I thrive in times of change. I also find these times incredibly taxing. No matter how many times I have moved houses, jobs or travelled from place to place, the idea of change enlivens me, the process of it can stress me, the novelty of a new change really opens up my world but then...I crash. Maybe the novelty wears off a bit and this is where I am at right now. I am in the midst of living in the shade of grey. There are so many possibilities of where I could go next. My head is busy. Although I am feeling exhausted, my head is toying with the many possibilities and options I could pursue until the early hours of the morning. I may be relying a little too much on caffeine to keep me fuelled. I may be trying to distract myself a little to much and not allowing myself to really feel what I need to feel.

Yesterday, a dear friend sent me a link to this article, by Sara Rodriguez that really spoke to me:

"Some might see her as cold and distant, because she needs a significant amount of alone time to keep her from feeling scattered and spread so thin that she disappears. Sure, she has family and friends with whom she loves to spend much of her time, but it’s in her nature to crave those precious hours of solitude—being only with her thoughts, completely alone in a crowd or in the vastness of a quiet scene".

As an introverted being, I totally relate to this. My alone time, is my time to recharge and recalibrate...I have been getting better and better in giving myself time to do this. Yet, I also find that I can get easily caught up in being everywhere, knowing everything and doing everything. It catches up. I hate missing out on things. Yes, I did open up this paragraph telling you I am an introvert, but that doesn't mean I don't also enjoy my social gatherings. The problem is though, when I try and be everywhere, know everything and do everything, I end up running on empty.

Maybe missing out on things can be a good thing too...

Many people have asked me in the past if I grew up in the country. In many ways I did - suburban/country though. During my trip to and from primary school, I saw cows, rolling hills, tractors, farmers. It was no concrete jungle. It's easy to get caught up in life when you get older. So after reading that article about the need for solitude. After work, I decided to go for a run in the most beautiful, picturesque park down the road to energise me. I ran in the rain amongst the rolling hills from my primary school days and it made me feel alive. I headed back home and for the first time decided not to blast Spotify. I am writing right now to the sound of a multitude of cicadas, a few light planes flying overhead and the distant noise of the sounds of the church nearby. It is so peaceful. So uncomplicated.  So what I need right now.  So while life is happening and there are many things I could be doing or reading up on, I am happy just being. Being in my own company (and the cicadas too).