A collective state of mind

With Christmas just around the corner, the idea of having my loved ones together and connecting is at the forefront of my mind.

But what about those not within our inner circles? Or those who have drifted out of our lives for one reason or another? Maybe it is time to break down those barriers and reach out.

We live such highly connected lives, yet we still suffer from high levels of anxiety, loneliness and social isolation.

Going wide

I was recently introduced to the idea of going wide. The late Steve Jobs was used as a reference point here, whereby he would 'drop-in' to calligraphy classes after dropping out of his degree. The knowledge Jobs gained came in handy down the track, namely when typefaces were born! 

This concept also works with people as much as it does with expanding one's mind creatively. Opening up your inner circles introduces you (and your mates) to people outside your everyday life, people who have diverse backgrounds, ways of thinking and values. It's a win, win.

I find the more my social circle opens, the more I see how inter-connected we really are and that six degrees of separation is no myth.

                                                          Right now my world's are seriously colliding - and I love it!

Having a collective state of mind is not hard, it may be as simple as inviting a new person along to your usual breakfast catch up, having a party and mixing all of your friends together, inviting people along to things that are you consider an acquaintance...that simple act could change your status friends. 

You can never have too many friends at the end of the day right?

Maybe I was wrong

I really can't say whether it is just age, but over the years, I seem to have taken back many of those 'I would never' statements that I have made. It rattles me in a way, and sometimes it makes me feel super fickle, but on other days it just shows that I am adaptable and flexible and open to changing my beliefs on things and I kind of like that.

The funny thing is that the things that I was most passionately opposed to, are what I have really back-tracked and ultimately changed my mind on and really taught me the most valuable lessons. 

I would never...

I was opposed to living by myself, travelling alone, going to Bali and India, backpacking and hostelling, eating meat, trying online dating, living with a random flatmate and living with a friend. Gosh, talk about a whole load of self-imposed restrictions...and all of the above I now done and so grateful that I did too!

                                                       At an Ayurvedic Centre in Kerala, Southern India

I still have a few 'I would never' statements that I have begun to see that maybe I am still limiting life's options...like I always said I would never date a younger guy, but so many couples I know are living and breathing proof that I need to change that one up.

My job

My career has seen me start off in corporate, I became a bit jaded by the whole thing and moved into the Government and not-for-profit sector and said I would never move back into corporate. My aim was to do my bit for the world and work around people who shared a similar value system to me. I've come to realise that just because you work in a certain sector, doesn't make you a good or a bad person. 

Whether you work for profit or on the other side, if you follow your passions and you are making the world a better place - whether it be through bringing innovative products to make our lives easier, designing cool artwork for small businesses or being a human rights advocate, whatever it is, then that is awesome.

I've changed my mind (again)

And yes, I just landed a job back in corporate, I have to laugh, I was really sure I would never jump back over. But you know, I am living and breathing my passions of health and wellness during my 9 - 5, the very thing that lights me up and that makes me happy.

Never say never, as you just don't know.

The Irish Pub light-bulb moment

I've never been a big pub dweller. This changed in the past year, as my life has been filled with Irish people (with the biggest hearts) and what better way to hang with them then to frequent the pub? I have to admit it, pubs slowly grew on me. I guess I always associated pubs and even bars to an extent with simply drinking, I never really saw any substance to it...until I went to watch a brilliant documentary which has literally turned my world-up-side down.

Jilly,  one of my Irish mates and also one of the sweetest people I know, asked me if I wanted to go and see a doco about the institution of The Irish Pub, called just that. As soon as I saw the trailer, I was sold. The film encapsulated the infamous dry Irish humour, the amazing scenery and what struck me the most, was the utter warmth of the Irish community.

Much like a church, a pub is where people come together. The film showed people of all ages in pubs all throughout the country, coming together to share their lives, their woes, their wins.

An old chap was interviewed in the film and what he said really struck a chord with me...he said, why should I go home to an empty house and stare at a box alone, when I could be with my mates at the pub? This really spoke to me...life is about the connections and communities we create. All to often, especially nowadays, we are physically isolating ourselves. We are spending our precious time living life through a computer. Being with your tribe whether at the pub or any location of your choice is always going to make you happy.

I am a big believer that you create your reality and the other day my neighbour, who I have bumped into a few times and always said hi to, but that was about it, knocked on my door to ask for a cup of rice. You have no idea how happy that made me! I know that if I ran out of rice, I would naturally race down the hill to the shops, how self-contained have we become? I gave her the cup of rice and the next day she dropped me off a beautiful bunch of flowers, that made my day. She was so grateful and so was I.

We don't have to be islands. I am so passionate about bringing people together, reaching out and creating communities. Because that is what makes the world so much of a better place to be.

To Instagram or talk?

I have been intrigued recently with the whole concept of going back to basics and living simply. Nowadays, we all lead busy lives and we have an abundance of choices and technology available to us each and every moment of our lives. But sometimes I think these can overcomplicate, desensitise and even break down the core sense of community.

Everything can now be done in the comfort of your own home, you no longer need to physically be at a class if you want to complete your studies, you watch an online lecture on your phone. Which is great and oh so convenient, but I also feel that these great advances in technology mean that the chance of new friendships and relationships forming in a real life and organic manner are now getting less and less possible.

People walk through the streets of the city, never looking up from their phones. I have nearly been knocked out countless times from this. I am guilty of half listening to conversations whilst checking my phone. I once went to a social media lecture, which reported a crazy amount of people checking Facebook before doing anything else when they wake up in the morning.

I may sound very anti-technology. I am not. I just think we are over-doing it...a tad! 

I once dated a guy that refused to conform and did not use a phone. It was cool at the start, but that quickly turned to frustrating when I couldn't communicate if I was running late! I am not advocating that everyone ditch their phones, maybe we re-think how we use them.

One morning I caught a cab in for a morning meeting I was having. I hailed the cab, sat down, put my seatbelt on and told the driver where I was off to. I automatically went for my phone, for no reason, but to fill in the idle time. It was there I decided I had a choice, I could use my phone to distract me or I could have a proper human conversation with the man who was driving me. Luckily, I chose to converse with my Taxi driver, we had such a great conversation about this very topic and I gained a little insight into his life. That conversation made my day.

So next time you are faced with a choice, to needlessly distract yourself with the happenings on social media, or to actually share a story or two with another human, I dare you to put down that phone, go back to basics and chat. You never know what doors will open from it.

A blast from the past

It's been a while since my last post. If I am honest, I have not been in the right head space to write. It's funny, writing is my outlet but I often resist doing it when things get all too much. I made the decision to keep this channel lower on my list of growing, but exciting projects, but after lunching with a great friend (and fellow blogger) today I was inspired to put pen to paper again and tell you a story.

A few months ago, I was lucky enough to see the divine Danielle La Porte speak at a one-off event in Sydney, organised by the awesome Wake Up Project. One of the key take-outs I took from her talk was to not share (or air) your crap on your blog, or with your tribe when you are going through something. Do it after. It made a lot of sense to me. Which is probably why I haven't really shared anything in a while. Sharing after always removes the emotion and you always have the wisdom of hindsight. Something we can never have enough of.

Danielle La Porte on stage

So a few months back, I took part in an amazing speaking seminar with Carren Smith. It was not your ordinary workshop, yes we learnt techniques of getting your point across, but Carren has some magic about her, that makes you feel like an epic human being. I walked out of that seminar on top of the world.

With Carren Smith after the course 

I was walking up the street in the Sydney CBD feeling as though no one could stop me from what I wanted. That I could do anything. It was a pretty amazing feeling. I was euphoric...maybe for a minute or so...until I hear my name being called. Which by the way totally interrupted my internal soundtrack that I had playing, while I was imagining myself in my own dance music clip (that is on my bucket list, just so you know). I quickly assumed that the call out was not for me and recommenced my feeling of being on top of the world. Until I was rudely interrupted by the sound of my name being called again from across the street. My euphoria quickly turned into panic when I realised who was calling my name.

The thing is, maybe I should provide some context...I was one of those people that had a high school sweetheart, which spanned a decade. The relationship needed to end, it did very cleanly but it was one of the hardest things I have had to deal with. Getting over the break up of this took me a long time, but I soon realised I was dealing not only with the loss of my first love but I lost a family. More specifically and importantly, I lost ties with a woman who treated me and loved me like her daughter and I saw her as a second mother.

It was so hard for me to grasp the idea to grieve the loss of someone who hasn't actually passed on. 

She tried to maintain contact with me and even though she is always in my thoughts, the idea of keeping contact was not feasible or realistic to me.

This woman, who I missed so dearly was now across the road from me. I was in a state of shock. I just really never expected to see her in the city. There are places that I would purposely avoid, to ensure no unexpected meetings occur, but alas, it was Mother's Day and it seemed we were both searching for some closure.

In Bosnia together many years ago

We sat and drank coffee, she smoked, just like my own mum. Some things never change. I was able to say thank you for everything, something I always wanted to say to her face after the break up. How much I appreciated all the unconditional support and love.

We updated each other on happenings - births, deaths and marriages. It felt like so much time had passed, yet none at all.

This meeting conjured up so many things for me. I was so sad to say goodbye to her. Yet again.  I recently came to realise that to me, she represents a woman who was very much like my dad's mumma - Nanna Carmen. A woman who exuded love. She wasn't afraid to share it and express it, with a million and one kisses and hugs and of course her trade mark cheek pinching which I loved, even though it hurt!

So although this chance meeting rattled me. It was needed. I think we both got what we needed. The words, a final hug and a kiss. She will be in my heart forever.

Guest Blog: Margie Vorillas

My friend Margie is a true kindred spirit. She has such energy and zest for life that is infectious. Margie is great at looking outside the box and providing a refreshing perspective on things. She is passionate about living a fulfilled life and she is a true inspiration to me. Here are her musings on recalibration...

Life gets a little dull when you stay in one spot for too long. I’m talking about that feeling, when you become too familiar with something. The feeling of being too comfortable in your environment. You get itchy feet, you want to travel, move, change things up, maybe even do something reckless. Sometimes you just need to recalibrate!

My work place recently moved a 5.5 minute walk from my home. When I first heard we were moving, I was awakened with excitement, thinking about trips home on my lunch break. I thought it was a dream come true, I could go home to drink hot chocolate, and perhaps fit in little nanna nap. Unfortunately, one minor detail was left off my dream list - I would become stuck in my own version of Ground Hog Day!  

Suddenly I was stuck, in a monotonous routine. Compared to the variety and excitement I’d become accustomed to while working in the big city. In the city I would run across the harbour bridge weekly, have lunch dates in wonderful cafes. Around every corner in the CBD, was a new experience to be embraced. And now, my lunch time is replaced with dumplings, dumplings and more dumplings!

A few months after the move I wanted to pull my hair out, because I felt I was going mad. I began to fantasise about the next big, expensive holiday (I had just come home from 3 months in Mexico). And free time was spent scheming about ways to get back in the city. I was confused, because I love what I do for work, and didn't want to change my job. But I felt frustrated being stuck in suburbia, day in and day out.

Then one afternoon, after work, I had a moment of recalibration! I went to the grocery store, to buy tomato paste. My mind was screaming 'Blrggh I don't want to go to the same local shopping centre again'. I listened to that voice, and drove the extra ten minutes, to a shopping centre in the next suburb. Surprisingly, this small trip shifted me into recalibration.

The neighboring shopping centre was recently renovated. Suddenly I was immersed in sparkly new surroundings. I wandered around curiously, observing the small differences in the new centre. I explored the fresh new shops, ate at an unfamiliar cafe. It was a satisfying experience, for my curious and adventurous soul.

That day I learnt escape through crazy travel adventures, and emotionally charged ideas, is not always the answer. If you feel down in the dumps on a routine day, take a small dip into a new experience. This will help keep the everyday interesting and vibrant. Especially if you wish to stay grounded, and focused on the  bigger vision. Simply get creative with your daily routine, and mix it up a little.

If you’re a gym junkie, go for a swim at the pool one day. Why not book a ticket to an interesting seminar or talk? You could start a side project? Or simply download an album from an unknown artist.

Tomorrow I shall embark on my standard 5.5 min walk to work. But to keep things fresh in Ashfield tomorrow, I will drive to the beach for a morning walk,  use coloured pens instead of the standard black and red colours, email a friend in Spanish, then cook a meal I’ve never tasted.

About Margie...

You will usually find Margie working on a major event campaign, coordinating a private wedding/ function or hosting a quirky party for friends and family. Margie loves bringing communities together and creating buzzing environments through events and festivals. Alongside her love for organising events, she also enjoys learning Spanish, does a little rock n roll dancing with her husband Chris, runs and likes to travel the world. Simply put, Margie believes in approaching life in a creative manner as it makes everyday life remarkably interesting and fulfilling.

Life is a verb

     One of the great things about weddings is getting to know your friend's families. You often hear all about them in stories, but it is so great getting to meet them in the flesh. A few years back I met the lovely Margie at work. A true kindred spirit, it was as if our lives were bound to cross paths. 

    

     Margie would often meet up with her Aunty Jane at lunchtime, when she would return from her lunch dates she would always tell me the awesome things that her Aunty was up too. When Margie started to get into running, I was so impressed to hear that her Aunty Jane was going to join her!

     The years soon passed and Chris and Margie decided to get hitched! It was an exciting time! It wasn't really until the hens party did I really get a chance to chat with Jane. She is full of fun and the life of the party and I just love how she made so many amazing changes in her life. It really just shows, that with determination and passion anyone can change the direction of their life and head down a new path. Here is more on Jane...

What was the catalyst for you to overhaul your lifestyle?

I didn't have some major epiphany. I just decided that I had enough of doing what I was doing and decided to change it.

Jane at the start line of the Mother’s Day Classic, in memory of her friend Saskia who passed away last year from Breast Cancer

What are some tips you suggest for those considering to make a big lifestyle change?

Make a commitment and stick to it. Surround yourself with supportive people. Set goals, small and big. Reward yourself when you achieve a milestone. If I have a bad day, I acknowledge that and I start afresh the next day.

What does a typical day off look like for you?

A day off for me involves doing something for myself, massage, pedicure, a bit of reading or knitting. I also like having a catch up with friends and I love baking. A “nanna nap” on the lounge doesn’t go astray as well.

What are some of your fav activities to rest and recalibrate?

I love reading and knitting and crochet. I usually have two books on the go, one fiction and one non-fiction. I also love magazines, especially running and anything to do with health and fitness. At the moment I’m making “baby boxes” which consist of a knitted toy and then other bits and pieces like nappies, baby powder, baby wondersuit, singlets, all put together in a presentation box.

What does ‘recalibrate’ mean to you?

Recalibrate to me means to re-energise, have a review of the present and make new choices for the future.

Are you an introvert or extrovert?

Extrovert. I am a people person, love social occasions. I have recently joined a Womens Charity Organisation called Zonta which raises money for women’s issues and from June 2014 I am the Secretary of our particular Club, Sydney East.

What’s your favourite smell?

I love the smell of baking and roses.

Are you a morning person or night owl?

Morning person. My husband once said to me that daytime is for doing stuff and nighttime is for sleeping.

         Jane with her lovely hubby at Margie and Chris' wedding 

What types of exercise do you do?

• Strength training
• Running
• Boot camp

Jane completed the Relay Half Marathon in May last year, with her friend Haley 

Do you have any running events coming up?
The Gold Coast Half Marathon (21.1km) on 6^th July 2014.

A case of mental constipation

For the past few months, I have been slowly working on Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map. I have found it so useful to connect with how I want to feel and basing my decisions on around my core desired feelings.

How do you want to feel?

I turned 30 last year and without even realising it, I went into a nesting mode. I have friends around me who are getting hitched and making little bambini. Unconsciously I wanted to feel like I was making some form of tangible progress and change too. One day I decided it was time for me to buy a property. This has come up a few times for me in the past few years, but never felt right. Back in my 20’s it was my time to really spread my wings and see the world.

The money I had planned to invest in a building, which represented certainty to me, was invested in me, which was gave me the best Return on Investment I could have ever asked for!

The Desire Map, illustrated to me my innate need to feel spacious – freedom and flexibility are my life forces. These feelings were reignited for me on my recent trip to Thailand with a good friend of mine.

When I returned home, I realised that my life back in Sydney was the exact opposite of exuding freedom and flexibility. My internal world was full to capacity. I had no room to take on anything new. I became forgetful and flakey – really not on top things.

I was experiencing a case of mental constipation. A million and one things racing through my head – yet a stale mate on taking any action. Do I buy? Do I invest? Do I rent again? Do I sign up to the course? Argh!!! I felt as though I couldn’t move forward, trying to make the “right” decision.

Intuitively I knew that once I made a choice about the issues that were consuming me, I would feel lighter, free and spacious. While I actively sought this in my physical environment, through going to the beach often and exploring new places, it was more and more becoming an internal issue.

To me a property represented so many things which I yearned for – stability and security, but also sacrifice and definitely not spaciousness. I knew the timing was just off.

On an interstate work trip the other day, I found that being in a new environment gave me the strength I needed to feel empowered and make decisions. I picked up the phone and said yes to something I should have done a long time ago. As soon as I did this I had the same feeling as I did when I went sky diving!

My decision was made – no more pros and cons. It was done. I had space to just be again and things started flowing again.

Recalculating

It's quiet ironic that I love exploring new places - yet I despise maps. Ask anyone who has travelled with me, get a map in my hands and I will direct us the wrong way 9 times out of 10. 

For me, wherever I go, I like to just go with the flow - there is nothing more exciting than stumbling across a cool cafe or bar by accident. That is just how I roll.

Lately, I have realised that this principal is what I have adopted throughout la dolce vita. I may set out to do one thing and then realise it is not for me and take a slightly different path. Up until recently, I would often think I was too fickle, always thinking of a new thing to pursue but I have come to realise this is just me. For instance, when I began embarking on my career change, what has never changed is the fact that I want to help others - through improving their lives and looking at everyone from a holistic perspective. I dabbled in Psychology studies and realised that it wasn't what I wanted to continue to pursue. 

So I recalculated my journey took a step back and kept pursuing what interested me. 

My alternative route has taken me through the likes of Ayurveda, Yoga Teacher Training, Counselling and Coaching andI have attended countless other seminars and workshops. As I write this, I have just signed on to do another course and I am looking forward to where that will lead me.

My journey has led me down the wealth path to myself. An investment in myself. 

The more I say yes, the more interesting life has become and the more I have a clearer perspective.

And while I sometimes feel frustrated that I haven't reached an end point yet - I also acknowledge that life is a continuous journey. There will always be something new to learn, a new path to take, a chance to reassess - and how grateful I am for that!

In an instant fun

Meet Jess, one of my three younger sisters. You are never bored in the presence of Jess, she always has a great idea for something to do or play. Jess embraces the fun, just like when we were kids. I really admire that quality in her. 

Jess has her own unique business shooting polaroid’s at events called In an Instant Photography. Jess comes alive when choosing her backdrop and props. I really believe that Jess is here to be a beacon of fun in the world and her business embodies just this – you cannot bottle up the amount of fun that people when in her presence!

Here is a little  bit more about Jess A.K.A Jeskimo:

What are your tips on juggling full time work, with your own business as well as having fun on the side?

I find that dedicating time to each really helps, I am also really lucky in that my full time job supports my business! I'm able to take days off if I've been booked in for an event, they are so flexible like that. 

Having fun is high on my priority list, it's when I'm skateboarding/bike riding/shooting hoops that I find that I am most present in my life and the most happiest, so I try to make sure I'm doing these activities on a regular basis. 

The awesome thing is that my business is one of those activities that brings a lot of joy and fun into my life! So even if I'm crazy busy with events over the weekend, I know it will be fun-filled. If I know I've got crap loads of work to do when I get home, I just do it! You end up spending more energy thinking about it then if you had actually of completed the work in the first place! These days I've started to realise that I need to just get shit done, make the effort to text my friends for a catch up and make sure I show up 100% in every situation I am in.

How does your work as a photographer best reflect who you are?

I feel that In An Instant Photography is a pure reflection of who I am, I love to have a laugh (whether it be at you or with you!), not take life too seriously and just enjoy my life as much as possible.

When people are in the booth I am constantly told that this is the most fun they've ever had, if that wasn't confirmation enough than their full bellied laughs and tears of joy certainly convince me! 


What does a typical day off look like for you?


I'm currently working 9-5 Monday to Friday at SUNSTUDIOS, I used to have a very rigid morning routine of oil pulling and drinking hot water with lemon and then sitting down for meditation, although I was finding that although these practices were beneficial to me, I was also allowing guilt to seep in when I didn't meditate or oil pull - which overrides the goodness of it all!!

So I skipped the guilt and just make myself a smoothie, read a bit then head to work. After work I head over to the gym for a kick ass session with my trainers, head on home for dinner and then just relax with a good book or maybe watch movie with my man Seb. Some nights I'm working on editing photo's or replying to emails, I try to keep it balanced. I'm a night owl so I'm typically in bed around 12am, as much as I try to get into bed before that….I can just never put my book down!


What are some of your fav activities you do when you need to recalibrate?

I like to go for a walk or ride to the park, sit my ass down in the sun and read all day long.


What does the word recalibrate mean to you?


Switching off from technology and recharging my mind, body and soul. I actually find that skating with friends really recharges me, it's just me and the board, so simple. I need to do this more often!!


Fav song/album to chill out to?


Lebanese Blonde by Thievery Corporation & the album Moon Safari by Air.

A Work Life Balance

They say you must surround yourself around people you aspire to become. My Chiropractor, Dr Adrian Couzner from Chirosports is one of those people. He has his bases covered in all areas of his life and has simultaneously managed to work out the perfect 'Work Life Balance'.  Adrian just launched a Facebook page dedicated to just this, he aims to inspire and empower people to take control and achieve this. I am intrigued by this concept and I decided to ask Adrian a few questions about it!

What are your top 3 tips for a good work life balance?

1. Find a vocation rather than a job, that way work is never about at ends to a means, it’s about your calling.
2. Have a values list and live according to your values  That way, life will feel completely congruent.
3. Health is everything, without it, nothing else matters.  So work on it!!

What are your suggestions for a stressed or overworked person?

•  Come to terms with the fact that somewhere deep inside it makes you feel important, significant and needed to be that overworked/stressed.

•  Make sure you look after your health.  Sleep, energy and your immune system will be the first to suffer if you don’t invest in your health.

• Spend time doing things that connect you with your values, that way you will feel more inspired and energised to get back to work.

•  Get yourself a mentor, someone who can guide you through this patch. (check out my facebook page Work Life Balance).

 What are your tips for a successful marriage?

• Share similar morals, beliefs and values.

• Communication is the key.

• Be a better listener.

• Have fun, make each other laugh.

• Kids come second, partner comes first.

Is there someone in your life who inspires you with their work life balance?

I think positively or negatively we develop our perspective on the world firstly from our parents.  I was lucky enough to have amazing parents as my role models.  As much as they both had professional careers, I always felt like they were there for us and that they weren’t slaves to the 9-5 routine (that’s what we called it in the 80’s).  My parents juggled with ease their work, family, sports, friendships and most importantly their relationship.

How do you recalibrate?

There is nothing like kids to bring you back to the real world.  

A few short minutes can bring you back into focus real quick.  But for those who don’t have kids, I think you need to rely on your values list and do things that connect you with your values.  That way you are living to your highest purpose.  For some that is health, family/loved ones and for others it’s travel.

Where is your favourite travel destination?

That is a hard one…..I’d have to say Greece.  It has amazing scenery, history and culture.  They love family and food, which are very important to me.  They also have picturesque islands and beaches, where life is all about the simple important pleasures.  

Tell me about a time where you followed your heart and went against grain.

My career was taking off and I decided to take a break from work and go on a 6 month adventure with my new girlfriend (now wife, Simone).  My head was telling me to continue building and establishing myself in the Chiropractic world, but my heart was telling me to go have some fun.  Often we are crippled by our thoughts of what we are losing, rather than the potential for gain.  Despite not working for 6 months and spending all the money I had saved, it solidified my relationship with Simone and well the rest is history as far as that is concerned!!  It by no way slowed my financial success either and it definitely broadened my horizons.  The heart is always right!!

More about Adrian...

Dr Adrian Couzner has been a Chiropractor for 20 years and more recently a Work Life Balance advocate.  He runs 2 successful Chirosports clinics and the facebook page, Work Life Balance.  He is a husband and father to 4 children, Finn, Ocea, Cy and Tay.  He originates from South Australian and now resides on Sydney’s North Shore. 

Those closest to him have looked on with envy as he juggled running 2 Chiropractic clinics (himself consulting with over 140 clients per week), managing his family commitments and still approaching life with a calm, yet energetic passion.

For more information on Dr Adrian Couzner, go to www.chirosports.com.au or on Facebook. 

Ignoring the FOMO

So I have mentioned before, I am a modern-day gypsy, I love change - actually I thrive in times of change. I also find these times incredibly taxing. No matter how many times I have moved houses, jobs or travelled from place to place, the idea of change enlivens me, the process of it can stress me, the novelty of a new change really opens up my world but then...I crash. Maybe the novelty wears off a bit and this is where I am at right now. I am in the midst of living in the shade of grey. There are so many possibilities of where I could go next. My head is busy. Although I am feeling exhausted, my head is toying with the many possibilities and options I could pursue until the early hours of the morning. I may be relying a little too much on caffeine to keep me fuelled. I may be trying to distract myself a little to much and not allowing myself to really feel what I need to feel.

Yesterday, a dear friend sent me a link to this article, by Sara Rodriguez that really spoke to me:

"Some might see her as cold and distant, because she needs a significant amount of alone time to keep her from feeling scattered and spread so thin that she disappears. Sure, she has family and friends with whom she loves to spend much of her time, but it’s in her nature to crave those precious hours of solitude—being only with her thoughts, completely alone in a crowd or in the vastness of a quiet scene".

As an introverted being, I totally relate to this. My alone time, is my time to recharge and recalibrate...I have been getting better and better in giving myself time to do this. Yet, I also find that I can get easily caught up in being everywhere, knowing everything and doing everything. It catches up. I hate missing out on things. Yes, I did open up this paragraph telling you I am an introvert, but that doesn't mean I don't also enjoy my social gatherings. The problem is though, when I try and be everywhere, know everything and do everything, I end up running on empty.

Maybe missing out on things can be a good thing too...

Many people have asked me in the past if I grew up in the country. In many ways I did - suburban/country though. During my trip to and from primary school, I saw cows, rolling hills, tractors, farmers. It was no concrete jungle. It's easy to get caught up in life when you get older. So after reading that article about the need for solitude. After work, I decided to go for a run in the most beautiful, picturesque park down the road to energise me. I ran in the rain amongst the rolling hills from my primary school days and it made me feel alive. I headed back home and for the first time decided not to blast Spotify. I am writing right now to the sound of a multitude of cicadas, a few light planes flying overhead and the distant noise of the sounds of the church nearby. It is so peaceful. So uncomplicated.  So what I need right now.  So while life is happening and there are many things I could be doing or reading up on, I am happy just being. Being in my own company (and the cicadas too).