A case of mental constipation

For the past few months, I have been slowly working on Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map. I have found it so useful to connect with how I want to feel and basing my decisions on around my core desired feelings.

How do you want to feel?

I turned 30 last year and without even realising it, I went into a nesting mode. I have friends around me who are getting hitched and making little bambini. Unconsciously I wanted to feel like I was making some form of tangible progress and change too. One day I decided it was time for me to buy a property. This has come up a few times for me in the past few years, but never felt right. Back in my 20’s it was my time to really spread my wings and see the world.

The money I had planned to invest in a building, which represented certainty to me, was invested in me, which was gave me the best Return on Investment I could have ever asked for!

The Desire Map, illustrated to me my innate need to feel spacious – freedom and flexibility are my life forces. These feelings were reignited for me on my recent trip to Thailand with a good friend of mine.

When I returned home, I realised that my life back in Sydney was the exact opposite of exuding freedom and flexibility. My internal world was full to capacity. I had no room to take on anything new. I became forgetful and flakey – really not on top things.

I was experiencing a case of mental constipation. A million and one things racing through my head – yet a stale mate on taking any action. Do I buy? Do I invest? Do I rent again? Do I sign up to the course? Argh!!! I felt as though I couldn’t move forward, trying to make the “right” decision.

Intuitively I knew that once I made a choice about the issues that were consuming me, I would feel lighter, free and spacious. While I actively sought this in my physical environment, through going to the beach often and exploring new places, it was more and more becoming an internal issue.

To me a property represented so many things which I yearned for – stability and security, but also sacrifice and definitely not spaciousness. I knew the timing was just off.

On an interstate work trip the other day, I found that being in a new environment gave me the strength I needed to feel empowered and make decisions. I picked up the phone and said yes to something I should have done a long time ago. As soon as I did this I had the same feeling as I did when I went sky diving!

My decision was made – no more pros and cons. It was done. I had space to just be again and things started flowing again.

Recalculating

It's quiet ironic that I love exploring new places - yet I despise maps. Ask anyone who has travelled with me, get a map in my hands and I will direct us the wrong way 9 times out of 10. 

For me, wherever I go, I like to just go with the flow - there is nothing more exciting than stumbling across a cool cafe or bar by accident. That is just how I roll.

Lately, I have realised that this principal is what I have adopted throughout la dolce vita. I may set out to do one thing and then realise it is not for me and take a slightly different path. Up until recently, I would often think I was too fickle, always thinking of a new thing to pursue but I have come to realise this is just me. For instance, when I began embarking on my career change, what has never changed is the fact that I want to help others - through improving their lives and looking at everyone from a holistic perspective. I dabbled in Psychology studies and realised that it wasn't what I wanted to continue to pursue. 

So I recalculated my journey took a step back and kept pursuing what interested me. 

My alternative route has taken me through the likes of Ayurveda, Yoga Teacher Training, Counselling and Coaching andI have attended countless other seminars and workshops. As I write this, I have just signed on to do another course and I am looking forward to where that will lead me.

My journey has led me down the wealth path to myself. An investment in myself. 

The more I say yes, the more interesting life has become and the more I have a clearer perspective.

And while I sometimes feel frustrated that I haven't reached an end point yet - I also acknowledge that life is a continuous journey. There will always be something new to learn, a new path to take, a chance to reassess - and how grateful I am for that!

In an instant fun

Meet Jess, one of my three younger sisters. You are never bored in the presence of Jess, she always has a great idea for something to do or play. Jess embraces the fun, just like when we were kids. I really admire that quality in her. 

Jess has her own unique business shooting polaroid’s at events called In an Instant Photography. Jess comes alive when choosing her backdrop and props. I really believe that Jess is here to be a beacon of fun in the world and her business embodies just this – you cannot bottle up the amount of fun that people when in her presence!

Here is a little  bit more about Jess A.K.A Jeskimo:

What are your tips on juggling full time work, with your own business as well as having fun on the side?

I find that dedicating time to each really helps, I am also really lucky in that my full time job supports my business! I'm able to take days off if I've been booked in for an event, they are so flexible like that. 

Having fun is high on my priority list, it's when I'm skateboarding/bike riding/shooting hoops that I find that I am most present in my life and the most happiest, so I try to make sure I'm doing these activities on a regular basis. 

The awesome thing is that my business is one of those activities that brings a lot of joy and fun into my life! So even if I'm crazy busy with events over the weekend, I know it will be fun-filled. If I know I've got crap loads of work to do when I get home, I just do it! You end up spending more energy thinking about it then if you had actually of completed the work in the first place! These days I've started to realise that I need to just get shit done, make the effort to text my friends for a catch up and make sure I show up 100% in every situation I am in.

How does your work as a photographer best reflect who you are?

I feel that In An Instant Photography is a pure reflection of who I am, I love to have a laugh (whether it be at you or with you!), not take life too seriously and just enjoy my life as much as possible.

When people are in the booth I am constantly told that this is the most fun they've ever had, if that wasn't confirmation enough than their full bellied laughs and tears of joy certainly convince me! 


What does a typical day off look like for you?


I'm currently working 9-5 Monday to Friday at SUNSTUDIOS, I used to have a very rigid morning routine of oil pulling and drinking hot water with lemon and then sitting down for meditation, although I was finding that although these practices were beneficial to me, I was also allowing guilt to seep in when I didn't meditate or oil pull - which overrides the goodness of it all!!

So I skipped the guilt and just make myself a smoothie, read a bit then head to work. After work I head over to the gym for a kick ass session with my trainers, head on home for dinner and then just relax with a good book or maybe watch movie with my man Seb. Some nights I'm working on editing photo's or replying to emails, I try to keep it balanced. I'm a night owl so I'm typically in bed around 12am, as much as I try to get into bed before that….I can just never put my book down!


What are some of your fav activities you do when you need to recalibrate?

I like to go for a walk or ride to the park, sit my ass down in the sun and read all day long.


What does the word recalibrate mean to you?


Switching off from technology and recharging my mind, body and soul. I actually find that skating with friends really recharges me, it's just me and the board, so simple. I need to do this more often!!


Fav song/album to chill out to?


Lebanese Blonde by Thievery Corporation & the album Moon Safari by Air.